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Every year I buy myself a Christmas present and as this year I had been particularly good I put in my stocking a brand new HP external DVD re-writer drive. I unpacked it and followed the instructions for installation. Sadly all did not go well and two parts of the software supplied failed to install. The HP helpdesk suggested I download the software directly from their website and try again which I did but still with no success.
The helpdesk explained that they had never heard of the error code I had before and you might be tempted to believe that this is the cause of my problem. Not so! They helpfully suggested that I run Microsoft Update to make sure I had the latest versions of Windows 98 –my current operating system – and this is where my real problems began.
As a home user I avoid running Windows Updates like the plague, given that I operate using a dial up connection and at best achieve a 44 kbps connection speed. I also have the 'pleasure' of being a Freeserve subscriber whose lines seem to mimic the performance of the stock market being up just long enough to make sure I lose a lot.
Suffice to say that when I ran the Windows Update it was a nightmare. The first user-friendly step carried out a quick check of my system to establish whether I needed some new software just to go through the update process. I did and so was presented with a security warning after about 3 minutes that then began the process proper.
What happened next was a slow scan of my computer to identify what updates were required. 19 critical updates apparently in my case and I began to wonder how I had coped for the two years since buying the computer with such critical information absent. I clicked the install now button and it was explained that one of the items selected had to be installed separately from the other 18 and that if I accepted it would indeed install that one and leave the others until later.
The file size was immense and as the process began I got a feeling of watching paint dry. After 5 minutes with absolutely no movement I went and attended to other chores, such as separating my children. When I returned to the computer over an hour later the bar had moved two thirds of the way across the screen so I went away again. The next time I returned my phone line had been dropped and the process with it. I had to start again, from the beginning, including the scan of my system.
Well, I really wanted to use my new DVD drive so after two days of leaving Windows Update running day and night and restarting the process another 5 times (once it completed but a red alert explained it hadn't installed correctly and I would have to start again) I eventually managed to install the first of the 19 critical updates. Another 3 days passed and I managed to install the remaining files.
There was nothing in the system that enabled dial up users to restart mid way through the process if the line or install failed and as a result had I not been on a monthly unlimited time package there is no way I would have gone through with this. As it is there are still updates, thankfully non-critical, waiting for me, but I'm too scared to go back there!
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